Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Running

I feel like I have to be m.o.r.e., always. Because I've never been enuff. My temperament is one of someone who hasn't been taught love, hasn't been taught social skills - quite frankly? I've always had my way. And when I didn't have my way I didn't have anyone else so I depended on self... It's easier that way. So everything in my life right now is a deep growing experience, one that's going to alter my way of thinking. I have never been on this mind level before. I know this because there is no familiarity here. So it's all a battle, it's all a change... Damn i'm favoring commas today... i guess i got a lot to say so it's just running on.

If I had the dream job it would be to just be happy and create. Start another non-profit organization but on the scale that it would cater to the gray area of age. When you're discovering yourself. I know if I had found a cafe, a poetry place, a smoke shop, a club, an art gallery that would work with me - I would be better than what I am. I'm working on getting better.One step closer to where I want to be, I know where I want to be. And I think because I am not there yet, that's why I'm so hard on myself. Failure is not an option. It's not even a question.

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