Sunday, August 22, 2010

Standards of Listening

I like music that I can listen to. i like to hear something that i’ve felt before. that’s what music means to me. it’s a connection, a conversation, a conclusion and in its rarest of form a cleansing. emotions are chief when you’re a cancerian. &i’ve found that the best way for me to deal with the tides is to just plug in my headphones. yes i may cry, laugh, dance, or fall asleep – but music is part of me. it’s woven into the parcels of my misty breath.

So i dont necessarily listen to music that everyone else around me is listening to. it has nothing to do with going opposite of what’s considered mainstream, because there is some Drake on my iPod, &right now that’s as mainstream as it gets. simply put, there’s not a need to filter or reject music based on any classification according to my standards of listening.


My selections ranges from the need to associate. sometimes it’s the need to isolate. but it’s nonetheless always a need; that much I do know. when i was in the 7th grade i started journaling. not in the form of a diary but more so a log. and in 36 notebooks of different colors i wrote down every song i ever heard that i could connect with. my mother would throw most of them away when we changed addresses for the 4th time, leaving me to start clean as a freshman at college. . some did survive the move though, most of them my depressing days when i listened to big frog 104; country music which is the bluest of all the blues &just as patriotic as a hot dog and baseball inked away my years of self-infliction, starvation, and searching for self.


Pandora has to be one of the best creations ever. i know, yahoo! music has been up on the radio bit, later came AOL, but Pandora really has it all together (despite all the force close issues &need for updates every 4days, i’m tryna bare with them). the ability to just put one artist is &vibe through those alike is really true. i also listen to Last.fm a lot, same thing just more focused and also a lot more not so mainstream songs available.  iTunes &beyond, technology has engineered the right product for me.


What i’m tryna get at is – i have a need. and that need is always met by music. she’s the one thing that’s never abandoned me, never disappointed me, never did not love me. . the gathering of lyrics, the songstress, beat &rhythm always equals out to be the sum of a good thing. music always has the answereven when im feeling down, it’s a good thing. a contradiction that heals the conflictions in whatever comes.


And as i jot down Artist – Song in the back of my composition notebook, with *’s and ~’s to inform of something different from the rest written, some things dont change. im a lister, and i like to list what im listening to. based on my need. for that reason i dedicate this to H.E.R.  knew you from the day i tried to moonwalk. ive loved you since grandma told me who “Blue Eyes” was, Bold As Love to be tatt’d on my chest and now as i cry to Melody Gardot – this is what i like. me gusta. music, you’ve come a long way &+ though they say things change, you are the one thing that remains the same. 

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Fcuk`n Loop Holes



exactly what i went through.
what i've been going through.
&what everyone else around me has been going through.

the fcuk`n loop holes.

Monday, August 16, 2010

"Hey Stranger! Haven't seen you in awhile" -____-

First off, fuck you. Second, this friendship is a two-way deal, therefore you should have checked up on me if you honestly cared about my well-being. That’s an absolute pet peeve of mine! I know that I’ll go out of my way if we haven’t seen or spoken to each other in a while. You got my number, use it. Don’t act all brand new with me and shit. I’ve been here since day one, just cause I lost contact for a short amount of time doesn’t mean that our ties have been cut off. I’ve been going through some family problems and personal problems, those are the main reasons why I’ve been lowkey. I’m sorry that going out and being in the social scene isn’t a priority, I’ve been focusing on me, not other people. Pardon my personal moments and shit, but don’t ever come at me like I’ve never been down with you since day one.