Friday, June 26, 2009

POWER OFF.



No my brain is not that small (Assholez] - but I think that it probably will be by the time I turn like... 27. I constantly think. Think Think Think. That's not a problem, not so much - But I think so much that I think about what I'm thinking about... And then I laugh. (Smh]

I think so much that I have to ask the Kidd, "What did I say I was gonna blog about?" I think I'll start listing everything ; like get a notebook & juss make lists. A notebook with no lines. Juss for thinking... so I can draw at the same time.

I have short term memory problems. That's medically documented. I can't remember days, what I did 2-3days before, and so it sucks. That sucksss. In order to remember stuff for school, I write my notes in my phone. And then I transfer them to looseleaf, and then when it's the day before the exam, I transfer them into a notebook. Just so I can remember the information. I suck.

My brain sucks. It's always going and going and going and going. I'm hungry. Which means I get grumpy, I get really grumpy. "I catch an attitude over food." (That's my quote, don't take it.] Is there such thing as ADD of the Brain? Because my thoughts are a constant train ride, but my body's at a stand-still. I have been called the "(In]Sane Genius" -- that's about right.


Anyhowww. I wish I could juss put my brain into comatose. Juss like for a day. So it can rest, it needs rest. And I need food. I really need food, before I blow up the world. That's bad. Imma fat kidd. Ha!

peace, -ace.

Annie is NOT okay. ; I'm Twenty.



My text messages went from 12am "Happy Birthday Ace!" to a 3pm text from my grandmother "Michael Jackson?" Followed by a lot of confused texted. People were like sorry that Michael Jackson died on your birthday...
I'm sorry too? .sigh.

The headline on the New York Post this morning "DEAD". Crazy, still so surreal to me. I was a little selfish at first "Stop with the text messages about Michael! It's my birthday?!" - But now I find myself listening to all the videos, downloaded 2 ringtones (Man in the Mirror & SCREAM), and defending the King of Pop.

At home, in my grandmothers house, if you go up the stairs into the bedroom that's right across from you? You'll see Michael Jackson stickers plastered on my mothers closet doors. You'll see a poster rolled up in the corner. If you were to unfold it you'd see a picture of some black penny loafers, white socks, and ankle high pants. Scribbled in typographic cursive his signature. - Yeah, I was raised with Michael. Hell I saw the tribute of the little house in Gary and was like "damn, yeah that's that 2bedroom home."

So how was my birthday?... Starbucks & Pet shops changed to Graffiti & People watching... it was good. I even got a free bracelet. Thanks for all the birthday wishes, texts & testi'z, calls & comments. The day was lovely, I even got a free bracelet.

Remember the time? Definitely.

peace, -ace.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Series of Unfortunate Events.

Bad news never has good timing. Isn't that the truth? This is going to probably be the weakest, yet quickest & most informative blog. This blog is going to update you the last month of my life. And then it will follow up with what's going to happen with the next few months of my life. My life which will reach 20yrs on Thursday. (Yes, my bday is June 25th.]

Reflect - I moved to South Jersey on Memorial Day. When I got here, I couldn't believe that my grandmother had (no exaggeration] 10+ppl living in her home already,(not all family, I'm talking baby daddy's & babies, & baby daddy's friends] and then allowed me to come stay for the summer. First I didn't think I could do it, so I called my Aunt across the bridge in Wilmington, DE & told her I was coming to stay with her. That was done, I left that Friday. Well that Friday I got to DE, that Friday I left. Let's just say Wilmington? Is not the business. - Ventured off into a whole other scenario in Philly, where I ended up in this fucked up homosexual faggetry of a mess. Dipped out and visited New York for a few days, cleared my head, even though that had it's situations as well. And then returned to Philly, got my brother's haircut, and then came back to New Jersey. Now back in New Jersey, I figure I can get my head right. Lay low until my birthday, go to NYC PRIDE, and then get me a little PT job. Stack the money because my grandmother (dad's mom] makes sure I have spending money & pays my cellphone; and then just cool out. - Golden.

Rebel - So all of that? Backfired like an ol' hoopty car waiting at a red light. My Grandfather was scheduled to have surgery (today], for a PaceMaker. And then on Wednesday my mother called and told me that my great-Uncle had passed away. Just the night before she had called and said they were giving him 10days to stay alive on life support, and the family meeting was the next day (Wednesday]. Meeting was at 3pm, he passed away 8:23pm. - Fucked.

Revamp - Going home to NY today, funeral's tomorrow. My family's heading over to the hospital now to see my grandpa after his surgery, I went this morning with my grandmother before he went in. I have to pack the few clothes I have, since 98% of my clothes are in Delaware still. (I've been "going today" to get them with my T.T. since I've been back in Jersey. Mind you I called her from NYC & asked her if I should just go back to Delaware then she'd come get me, or come back to Jersey then we'd go over - she opted this one. :|] Once I get to NY, I'll figure the rest out. My mum's upset, my grandmother (mum's mom] is upset - Done.

And so yeah that's been the summary of my month. Crazy, plan was to go to NY on Wednesday, have my bday party in Brooklyn, gay cookies & dates, PRIDE, and then come back to Jersey. Tim Gunn it, you know "Make it work." - Somethings aren't meant to made to work. Besides these heavy events, the one solid in my life? Is falling apart at the seams.

A lot of Q & A's in this blog. Still, a lot of shit unspoken and unanswered. I don't like swearing a lot, but with all this going on, I am sure I am permitted the ability to express myself. Idk when I'll be around to blog again. My laptop still lacks a power cord, and it's also in the bins in Delaware.

My best bet right now is to just stay at home with my mum. Even though I hate it, it's the best I can do. She said she's gonna figure out how to get my stuff, even if she has to pay for it. (I don't want her to, this coulda been avoided, we're in a RECESSION & she's a single parent .sigh.] Idk about my bday plans, postponed? cancelled? .shrugs. The move to North Carolina? Negative. Concrete? I will be returning to Daemen College in the Fall. - Which means I need to get my portfolio together. Sketch book I've been working on, take a lucky guess where that's at. :|

Lol, my T.T. just said "Imma try to figure out a way to get you your clothes." Series of Unfortunate Events. - Definitely.



peace,-ace.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Sober Friday.



OMG, my insides hurt. Okay - now that that's off of my chest. Where in the world is Ace? Back at home, in South Jersey, at my grandmothers. Philly was probably the worse disaster I've ever put myself into. One of those "had to be there" but wouldn't wish such buhfoolery upon anyone situations. Yeahhh. I don't know what's going on with people. Summer o9 isn't even here yet & they're buggin. Maybe it's a new strand of swine flu we don't know about yet. (btw why is swine flu still a #trend on twitter?] I know ya'll want to know what happened, but there's not enough typing in the world that could spell out the recockuness that happened there. I aint even see Philly for real, and I know it's a ethnically rich and creative area - that's what I need to see. Not no stud tryna get with another masculine identifying lesbian. Hmmm, yeah I'll pass. Lol ! Pure faggetry. & if you're reading this, which I'm sure you are. I have no problem with s4s, just not my cup of tea "sweetie." Ha!

My mind is on overdrive like MTV for real. Ummm, so today I stole my grandmother's van. Funny, funny thing. It's quite obvious I'm the new favorite in the house. So my cousin convinced me to take my grandmother's van and drop her off at her friends house. I was game, something to do. Well as soon as all get in the van, back out the driveway? My grandma comes running down the stairs "Get your ass out my car!?" LMFAO. Funny thing is, as soon as she seen it was me? It all changed, to sweetie's and the caring grandma voice I know. Made up some lie about getting hair glue for my T.T. Tammy (she was doing Tasha's hair next door) and dropped her off. (smh] Lovely.

Grandma has been trying to get me a job though. Seems like everywhere we go that's hiring, or NOT, she's like "you'd be good..." then she looks at the clerk "Are you guys hiring?" Haha. Little does she knows that I'm just waiting to get all this summer energy out. There's 12days till my birthday. Going back home to NYC to get GONE. Then NYC Pride is that following Sunday? BURNT OUT.

After that? I'm applying to every grocery store, every new store "NOW HIRING" & anywhere in the vicinity. I'm trying to get into the Philly artistic scene too. I already spoke to my older bro about it. My thing for this summer is "PRODUCTIVITY VS. ACTIVITY" Feel me? You better.Or get the fuck out my face, cause I'm on it.

peace,-ace

Friday, June 5, 2009

Raining Day in the City.

Booooo. So listen I travelled for like 2hrs yesterday, stressed out for the prior 36hrs to getting on the bus to come back home to the City. Arrived at Port Authority last night around 730pm, and walked around the (cliche] Village till about 10pm with my peoples Fii & her gf, Ona. Yeah, I was pretty much third wheel :|. Got down here to Flatbush around 11pm & just chilled out with my old roomie, Nicole, & watched the game, listened to music - chill; laid low for the night.

Happy Friday from Bob! -- It's been raining. Since 630am when I got up to make a surprise phone call, until 11am when I got spazzed at for asking if it was still raining (though she claims I've YET to see her spazz. :|] It's 811pm... It's still raining. We haven't left Flatbush all day, because it's been raining. No gay cookies nor any other plans were worked through.

So what does Ace do? Stay another night at home. And hopefully tomorrow will be better & no rain. It's supposed to be really nice tomorrow. Rescheduling & rejuvenating. Making up the break ups. Lol, and try again.

If tomorrow doesn't work out, and I do end up making my way back to Philly to get with my bro Vic at Kyle's, then we'll be back in about 2wks. For what? NYC's celebrating my 20th bday DUHHH! I'll be returning to NYC early afternoon on June 24th. Wah wah Wah...Day & Night... Lmfao.


peace,-ace

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

13 Minutes of Ace.


Video produced by Marco X

What's live everyone? I'm out here in Philly, trying to just breathe and clear my head before I get back to doing everything I do - make money, write poetry, and design graphics. I went into my inbox to find a "Check this out!" message from Mr.Rick Short. I was like Oh man, what's Rick signed me up for now...

Click & New Window = 13minute video of the full performance of me behind the mic at the Tram on the 17th of May. Definitely a surprise, a pleasant one at that. So click play, view & enjoy.

I'm entering into a poetry contest out here. The winner gets $500 & headlines the Poetry Slam Event following the contest. Not in it to win it... (kinda, lol] but MORE than that, I just want to be able to communicate to people.

“Poetry is an orphan of silence. The words never quite equal the experience behind them.” (CharlesSimic]

*Thank you Rick, for e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.

peace,-ace

Monday, June 1, 2009

i (ROAM]

yo yo yo. .shrugs. Alright so I know everyone's been asking and want to know - How's Jersey? Well... I can't tell you precisely right now cause I'm in Philly. Yesterday I had my TT take me across the bridge to Wilmington (Delaware] to go stay with my Aunt K, the one that everyone swears is my Moms cause we look |exactly| like mother & daughter. (si, that's my mother in that picture a right]- but yeah... I got there and wasn't feeling it, so I left with my friend Kyle, came over to Philly this morning. Tomorrow gonna actually go into Philly, get into something.

"You're a roamer." I can't say who's been calling me that for days now, but yeah - I agree. Lol. I don't know, I'm just not comfortable. But I figured this out, over these last 2days -- I wanna be in Jersey.

“I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself.” (Maya Angelou]

I do NOT want to go home to my mum, like no - though I miss her. The whole "You're 19, about to be 20, figure your life out" thing. Not on my to-do list. What is however is going back to Jersey, getting a job, & then chillen out for the summer.

The next move? North Carolina in July w| my Uncle. (I know, family EVERYWHERE] Make that move, and transfer schools. Might go to the Art Institute instead of NC A+T but we'll see. Never know what I might do next.
Ace; cause I keep one up my sleeve in case my maid wants to leave.

Man. All the cliche's and quotes about home, but this one has meant the most to me over the last couple days. "Home. The place you grow up wanting to leave & we grow old wanting to get back to."


Saw the Philly skyline from the balcony, now Imma go ahead and sleep on it.

peace,ace.
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