Sunday, October 25, 2009

Say Whats Real.

i wanna say a couple things about Drake. ima try to not go [IN] on things, i just had a couple of thoughts, realizations, &comments towards somethings that im feeling a typa way about. everyone has their own opinions &i dont knock you for that. if you dont like him [ehhhh] thats on you. but think of what are the other choices in hip-hop &look at hip-hops history. Drake is breaking records &still got a real sound to him. seriously. he's a hustler; not on a drug dealer note but just focused on getting what he wants with[OUT] having to do much else.

i have personally been on drake before so far gone, before best i ever had, before "wheelchair jimmy" became a flomp on him. i listened to replacement girl with trey, brand new, -etc. all the mixtape drakes that are only now getting play time due to his current blow up. nahhh, i been listening to drake. &then i was wishing that he would break mainstream. like PLEASE. - just stop.

[1]ne thing i wanna say is if you dont have an opinion on drake &you refuse to listen to him dont bangladesh on me for liking him. seriously. firstly, if you dont listen you cant have an opinion. thats ignorance at its best. if you dont know the content how can i respect your comment? im not going to. secondly, i can say that everyone, EVERYONE has listened to wayne at some point. if you listen to wayne, you're more than likely listening to drake. because drake has been a ghost writer for wayne on numerous occasions. if you didnt know this is what wayne does, when he doesnt spit his own rhymes. &finally, dont give me the "everyones on drake so i cant listen to drake because im an original." there's nothing original about anyone, theres only evolution with the same foundation. &also, with that mindframe - you're deff not original. k, thanks.


*dont ask about our bummfck'd banner.


last spring when drake's "so far gone" had just hit airwaves my school booked him for our springfest. it was between him &asher roth; drake won &drake delivered. we sold out to the maximum. daemen students got tickets for $1, outside students paid $5. i know some students who bought 5 $1 tickets &sold them for like $45,$50 a piece. it was that serious - drake is from toronto, thats right over the bridge. like 45mins away. he put on a good show. &he did it for $6,500. now ? because hes more popular he charges like 15-20 thousand to do a show, (dont quote me on that, thats what our student affairs president said) &theres alot of schools that tryna book drake. we did it first. ha!.

other points i have about drake is more so off stage. he's still in touch &keeps it real with his fans. he's also very well-spoken &educated. he's into MORE than just rap, he also can sing (though his voice is really... odd. lol], acting (we all know this), he's also into fashion. like heavy. seriously, not just j'z. i mean like dude posts a lot of independent low scheme fashion lines for designers tryna come up. he's overall just a good guy. &whats wrong with having a good guy in the rap game? seriously.

he's already on the level of "features blow up". any track drake is on blows up. he had 3 songs on #1 billboards at the same time. he had 8songs that he was on in total on the billboards in the top spots. like for real, he is unstoppable. &its time for rap to see something more than auto-tune &swagg. i also respect drake because he's not on the street come up &hes not some famous celebrity or fortune400 industry exec's son trying to rap. he's that in between, &he has real speak to say.

keeping it real, i was upset when he first came onto the mainstream scene. like oh man, he's gonna change over. but always he's flipped the game over. &he keeps it real. so like him i feel like have to say whats real. call me a drake drizzy dickk rider if you want to. - but we all know that i am homo for the promo baybeh. - i just felt like putting it out there.



drake concert 4/19/09.
*don't ask why my belts so bummfuck'd.


Monday, October 19, 2009

Like Grammar School.


thatpoetace
    ii agree -- it's crazy but typical of us to be on the same path.
bunchezzz
    yea, it is. but ii do really like theeDEAR &+ things feel so much more connected cause my guards slowly t.u.m.b.l.e.i.n.g down
thatpoetace
    &+ ii really like theeSOMEONE &+ she's started to claim me like everywhere; it's not unusual to open a survey, see a tweet, &+ just see my nick(sz) there instead of the generic|offBRAND "HER".
    i'm falling into her.
bunchezzz
    claiming is good cause its deep reassurance &+ yu know how we like to put our emotions&+heart on insurance.
thatpoetace
    definitely; then again it's better this|our|me+her way because we don't put everything out there. whereas me &+ others|.koff. put it all out there|everywhere.; ii like having ''our'' business.
bunchezzz
    its like a secret. yu walk around w| a smile on yur face cause yu know something that somebody else doesnt, &+ when they ask yu what it is, yu calmly say "oh nothing" &+ smile even harder. 

thatpoetace
    precisely.
bunchezzz
    .smiles. ii just thought of her.
    theeDEAR.
thatpoetace
    theres always that sweet satisfaction; when they cross yur mind. it's instant gratification &&+ even worse, yur greedy about it. yur selfish about it. yu dont want to share &+ yu will do everything to keep it under wraps. MUMz thee word|&+name.as.yu.call.me.
bunchezzz
    theeDEAR always make it known that she doesn't wanna share, &+ that she doesn't want me to go any where - ii told her she has me &+ im not going anywhere, she always calls me "great" &+ all ii can do is .smiles.
thatpoetace
    oatz; when she called me remarkable? ii never ever, that was the first|sole|never.before said of me before. &+ it's a moment that ii think i'll never forget. ii lite up like the gas light.

bunchezzz
    lol, more like the gas prices.
thatpoetace
    lol.




-Access granted; ^Two Cancers of the Same Time; 0625 DOB.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Derailed.

An odd conscious I have, like it's hella on it's own frame. I thought it was a bad dream. Just because of the situation &+ circumstance I was in. Being forced to really. . . go out on a limb of instability &+ uninsured of success. But as always, google &+ grandmothers work wonders.

Dreaming about a train according to google yields 136,ooo results. But the overall interpretation via the worldwideweb is that it's some form of journey. A statement that things need to be accomplished &+ handled in a ordered manner, so that one can ''move on.'' The ride itself can represent how everyone moves &+ behaves, the dreamer is striving for the wholeness.A part of me wants to go w| Freud`s reasoning, that the train is a symbol of intercourse. But heyyy, let's keep it clean so that we don't have to put the ''disclaimer'' up; I'm just sayin.

According to my grandmother, who's judgment I would say is trustworthy, not too many people can go wrong w| grandma`s. I mean unless you one of those new-age grandma`s, got like 4grand-babies &+ you still in college.. .shrugs. -- Back on track; My grandma told me that the train represents that I am moving on a new track of life, a journey that's taking me one step closer to where I want to be in life, agreeing w| the idea of wholeness. The fact that there were close family members involved, but that I ignored their existence|statements, reasons that I will not be deterred by anything or anyone. The incident of getting on the wrong train, but trusting a stranger to get me to the right one is just a further statement of how much I am changing, and as the train tracks, everything else will fall into place. Even if I end up in an unknown area, there is a new energy with me, &+ that energy will assure me that everything is alright &+ continue to be with me as I move on this path.

Nightmare? Not at all. Reality has been better than my dreams, but now my dreams are signifying that my reality is going to blurr in with this satisfaction."To dream anything that you want to dream. That is the beauty of the human mind. To do anything that you want to do. That is the strength of the human will. To trust yourself to test your limits. That is the courage to succeed."


I'm so self|conscious.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

L_ve.



"bunchezzz": somebody msg'ed me &+ asked why ii never spell out "l_ve'
thatpoetace: mhm; people ask me too. . .

thatpoetace: ii don't answer;
"bunchezzz": ii did.
thatpoetace: what yu say?
"bunchezzz": response4mOatz: cause to me l_ve is a 3-letter word that exist w|OUT a heart|'o' if|when ii find [myheart] then ii will buy a a vowel &+ it will become a 4-letter word that exist|holds no definiton; it wouldnt be define, but in essence will define everything -- my heart will then be the center of "l_ve"
thatpoetace: yeah; been tryna formulate something like that -- but my wordplay isn't so developed.
"bunchezzz": yurs is better than mine.
thatpoetace: ii think not.
"bunchezzz": blah.


Explanation Granted; ^finz.



Tuesday, October 6, 2009

thatpoetACE.

People make me more conceited than I actually am. How many times am I questioned about my name, or in a defensive manner people come at my neck, knowing I'm not that tall anyhow see what I'm saying, & they try to call me out on my name. "Your name's thatpoetACE, spit a poem."

1) I don't spit poems, I'm not a rapper. Freestyle's vs. Freewrite's; two separate things. 2) Who are you to be challenging me? Until you get some lyricism in your mind that flows off the tip of your tongue to sit comfortably into someones (preferably, mines) ear - Don't come at me. 3) If that's not the biggest peeve of being a poet, is people asking you to produce a piece of you and hand it over to them. Negative on the positive note cap`n.

What's behind a name? Recognition and Identification. My birth name, people mess up ALL the time, I don't know why it's so hard; 5 letters, beginning in ending in the same vowel that happens to be the first letter of the whole alphabet. I'm just saying. People make it harder than it has to be. There's different reasons behind "Ace"; just to throw it out there on an FYI note everyone calls me Ace. People at school, my cousins, even some campus faculty. So uhhh yeah, "screenname" not even.

But just to calm the central nerves of everyone with the "Why is your name thatpoetACE?" ; these are often people who are just obsessed w| this new phenomenon of worldwideweb celebrity`ness. Dunno how I became|if I am even a member of that class, but Imma seat myself for the purpose of this blog.

Here's the story, picture it, Sicily 1936... Okay Okay.

Truth: I did a couple of performances at the Tram Cafe over the last 1yr or so, any free Sunday I have and if I'm UpState I go do the Open Mic there. It's gotten a little performical over the last few months but whatever. NoHype, after the 1st time I stepped from behind the mic people became interested in me and what I had to say.  One Sunday, I had performed, I'd say show 4, and like 2 performers after me, this girl "Nic" came up to me. I was just dolo, chillen in the back, listening to some J. Schmidt. And she asked me "Aren't you that poet?" and I just looked up at her cause I didn't think she was talking to me. She repeated herself, "You're names Ace right? That poet Ace?" - And I like lite up like a 3rd grade bitch who just got asked "Check Yes or No" by my crush.- I just nodded my head. We eventually exchanged info, and like some weeks later she told my friend that "She's the typa girl that makes me wish I was bisexual, because she has this way with words."

Turning girls out from behind the mic? Not my style. Lol, I do not use poetry to pick up girls or get ass. Just not on my to-do list. I've never written a poem for a girl. I've written them about them. But never as a cheese ball gift. That's so 199o`s sweetie.

"I don't write poetry for her, I write poetry because of her.
Me: Your idolization; She: My inspiration."  (Tweet #3,078)

But jeahhh. I felt like putting that out there. I didn't create this name because I thought|think that I am some bomb ass poet. I've done tons of poetry shows, but my knees still buckle when I get on stage. I still write on napkins and scraps of paper because I don't feel like I'm ''worthy'' of collecting my stuff. I'm not a poet.
 I just play on words before I get played by words.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Until Further Notice

If I would have known that I would spend 3yrs and thousands of dollars to feel unaccomplished, I would have stopped this college thing a long time ago. I'm not throwing a pity party here, I'm just speaking out the thoughts that's been in my head. When I first came to this school, didn't like it. My best friend, "Snizz", who I met here, she's pretty much the reason I stayed here. But now she's not here this semester, because of her situation|accident, and so I've been left to myself. I realize - I don't like more than a handful of people on this campus. Not even remotely. I mean like 2people, maybe. I have all associates, I'm cool with people, if I'm on the phone with you while walking around I'll probably speak to like 20-30people during that one phone call. Seriously. But when it boils down to it I'm not really into anyone. I don't know if I missed the memo or if they had some mass injection that I missed but all this case of "brandNEW" is not the business and not on my to-do list.

So I'm here. I'm here in between majors because the Art department sucks. I'm here with people who practice the Spoils System vs. the Merit System; you know people's friends get precedence & thought about first for things even though they're not even close to ''right'' for the situation. I'm here with no poetry outlets, I think out of the 2500kids that go here, only like 5 have a twitter that I'm aware of... I'm here, looking from the inside out. BEGGING. SCREAMING. PLEADING - for an escape.
No exaggeration.

"But she won't drop-out her parents will look at her funny." vs. "I quit school, and it's not because I'm lazy. I'm just not the social type and campus life is crazy." Those are the two lyrics that I could say sums up this experience for me. I've been here for 3yrs and I have not, in my mind, progressed any. I have 45credits on my transcript, professors know me, the Dean knows me, (all positives) - I represented this school by working in Admissions. I represent a school that doesn't represent me. What typa buhfoolery is that?

If I would have known in 2oo7, that I didn't want to be a Political Science major, I would have kept all my artwork from high school that was shown in corridors at school or was taped to my bedroom walls. I would have applied to somewhere better and more sustainable for my needs. I would be doing Art 307, Art 415 classes right now; instead of Art 105, Art 275. Lessons learned? Connections connected? Something like that. But in the end I wonder if my costs outweigh my benefits.

The scales tipping to the lesser.

Complaining is something I do not do... because I am always working on a resolution to my problems. Obviously, I don't want to be here. I've narrowed where I do want to be down to 3cities, and I've begun my research. That's the crazy thing too. This whole "school thing"; blahhh. But in America, w|OUT education, (White America, especially), will tear you down. I am the majority of a minority as you can get. So I have to tighten my belt and roll with the punches. I have the potential to be great, and I will be great at whatever and wherever I end up.

After my freshman year, I asked my grandmother if my Papi would be proud of who I am and what I'm doing. (There's a lot she doesn't know, but I felt the question was needed at the time, my college kidd habits & my sexuality for example.) He passed away my senior year of high school. She answered of course he would. I'm a writer which he always loved my imagination and creativity was highly encouraged. He expected me to be taller, and probably end up with a football (soccer) scholarship. But all in all - Yes, he would be proud, so she says.

Everyday, I ask myself this somewhat already answered question. My grandfather never restricted me, never had these expectation, he just let me be. Self was of most importance. He didn't allow society to dirty me. Completely left now. Vulnerable I fell into the traps of what was expected of me from society and other family members.

I don't even want to be a poet, or a journalist, or even a graphics designer. Which is crazy because those are the things that come naturally to me and that I am, according to everyone it seems, "great" at. I want to do architecture, design great homes inside and out, and sell them to people. Don't even need a degree for that. Could have been doing that a long time ago. But architects, especially in this housing market today, do not make good money. Besides, I suck at math.

So here I am, and here I'll stay;-
Until someone, or something, answers my screams of escape.
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