Sunday, June 5, 2011

Black Daddy Syndrome,

So I work at a major retail factory store part time, as well as my first job (I'm like a retail bitch right now). And I was working a smooth 4.5hr shift yesterday, it was packed as ever and this African dude came up to me and asked for my assistance. No problem right, I don't mind helping any customer out with their shopping. But with him I was a little irritated because he had what I call "Black Daddy Syndrome".

Black Daddy Syndrome or BDS is the case of black fathers abandoning their children and then coming back as if nothing happened. This can be broken down more deterministically by the case of materialism. There's just something about Black people, especially, that believe that by buying their children nice things it'll compensate for whatever lack of love, affection, etc the child has undergone.

The initial question was "Can you help me", followed by "I have a 10, and 12... No 9, 10... No 10 and 12 year old sons, and I don't know what size they wear, what size would be good for them?"... "With boys it's icky", I told him, "depends on their height, size, weight, build... All that." He stared at me blankly, there wasn't even a hesitation or thought in his head as he said "I haven't seen them since they were very little". It took everything in me to not start PREACHING to this man, because I wanted to rip him a new one.

How dare you drop $150 in total on 2 BOYS that haven't seen you since they were however young, and think that's going to make-up for the lost years? I 100% would rather you bank this money you're about to drop on these hood-flooded sneakers and spend it on TIME with them. You can't make up time, you can't refund time. There's not enough money, kicks, or (clearance rack) t-shirts you can buy to make up for not being there for your children. He went from a decent pair of kicks for each of them, to a okay pair of kicks. He initially asked me to help him with a shirt and shorts for each child, but upon the realization that each pair of shorts was $18 he switched to 2 $7 tee shirts and a pair of kicks for each child. He maybe dropped $60 in total per son. How can you equate that to empty nests?

I know that the time I spent with my father means much more to me than any pair of Timberlands or North Face coat he ever bought me. And I know my brother Adam feels exactly the same. It's not about the money, it's honestly about the mentality. Why is this the case? Can someone tell me? Forreal though.

Salaam,

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