Thursday, November 19, 2009

A Good Death.

Lately a lot of things in my life have been screaming "death" to me. Dreams, I've seen myself in the stranger of situations - dying or staring at death. I call them bad dreams, not nightmares; my night doesn't mirror my light days. This year has been full of tragedy. My family has suffered, my friends have lost, a recession taking toll on life. In Philosophy class Monday we discussed proxies and living wills and watched a movie on a woman who had what I deemed as the perfect ending of life. She was told how long she had to live with cancer, she had time to create memories &say goodbye... She figured out how to die "A Good Death."

For weeks I have held on to a book by Mitch Albom called "Tuesdays with Morrie - an old man, a young man, & life's greatest lesson." There's many anecdotes and quotes I could write but I'd rather you read something other than the norm. I began this book at 1130 this morning, I believe it'll be finished by that time tomorrow morning. The need to continue to turn the pages is between the lines of Morrie's answers. He isn't able to live but he is not yet dead - so he is somewhere in between. We all know we're going to die, we just don't believe it. Fact.

We all have this belief that when we die, the world will stop, everyone will be made aware of our passing, and it will be the most important occurrence in the world. However, we all have attended a funeral &have lost a loved one. How we handled it for that individual, will be how they handle ours.  That is reality, it is normal action.

Why am I writing this? When death occurs we have this feeling, for a few days we are hit with the reality of death. We make these promises, these vows, our of fear of not living a fulfilled life. But we eventually, and often sooner than later, get caught back up in societies blur. As long as there is something to do, we feel the need to do it. So with the creation of better technology, the lack of social interaction, how are we really advancing?

The key to living is loving. The difference between a career and a job. A fling and a partner. We love those that we enjoy life through and with. We aren't taught to love, we are taught to do what it takes to gain riches. We are taught "right from wrong". Generic in terms &useless in life, especially when you look at the sum of all things. If we do not have happiness in life, we will live in unhappiness. Miserable and mangled.

Death is a reality, a reality that needs to be seen in the ''real'' world. Truth be told, I'm not afraid to die - I am afraid of being forgotten. I am afraid of the day I do die because I know that I will only be a mere object to everyone's lives, it will not honestly matter if I was ever here or not.... that is if that is how I want it to be. Photo's, journals, letters; all ways we try to steal a little out of deaths suitcase. When in actuality if we just start with living, we'd get a lot more out of life, leaving less for us to pack up when death comes. And it will, we know it will, we just don't believe it.

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